What We Don’t Offer

Howdy! We’ve all stayed in THAT rental. Heck, I’ve stayed in that rental. :-) So here’s the list nobody puts in a listing: the stuff you won’t find at Some Tuesday Ranch.

No laminated chore list

Some places hand you a four-page cleaning checklist, right after you paid the cleaning fee. Strip the beds, start the towels, run the dishwasher, haul the trash to the street. Sheesh! Checkout here is at 11:00 am, and our guest guide says it plain: no chores required. Turn every faucet off, leave the beds you used unmade, and go. Don’t strip them. Don’t remake them. Seriously, partner, put the fitted sheet down.

One small favor, and it’s a favor, not a chore. If you’re here on a Sunday night, we’d be grateful if you’d roll the trash cans out to the street. The Pahrump trash crew shows up before dawn, and they beat the roosters every time. If that doesn’t work for you, no problem at all. Just let us know and we’ll take care of it.

No post-checkout inspection video

We won’t film a slow walkthrough of where you left the throw pillows and post it for the internet to judge. Life’s too short, and the pillows will survive.

No cameras inside. Ever.

Somewhere out there is a rental with a camera hiding in the alarm clock. We’d rather just tell you where ours are. Outside, there are cameras on the garages, the parking areas and the doorbell. Inside the house? Nothing. Not in the clock, not in the smoke alarm, not anywhere.

The noise-level monitors are only there because Pahrump requires them. They don’t record anything, not a single word of your conversations. We’ve never once had to use them, and honestly, we wish they weren’t required at all. Bottom line: we give you your privacy.

No “cozy”

You know “cozy.” It’s the place where you can brush your teeth and stir the pasta at the same time. The ranch is 2,055 sq ft on a full acre, with 4 bedrooms, 6 beds and room for 10. No fisheye-lens magic either. One guest wrote that it was “way better than in the pictures.” We’ll take it!!

No “soap was supplied” scavenger hunt

No one sad frying pan, two plates and a sliver of soap. Towels, shampoo, conditioner, body soap and a hair dryer are already in the bathrooms, with extra pillows and blankets in the house. The kitchen has double ovens, a coffee bar, real dishes, wine glasses and enough gear to cook a whole holiday dinner. Meghan would never let it be any other way.

No six-page PDF the night before

Our house rules are a short list, and they’re posted on our Guest Guide before you ever book. Quiet hours start at 10 pm because that’s the Town of Pahrump’s rule, not because a neighbor has the owner on speed dial. The hot tub’s extra-hour pricing is written down there too, so nothing sneaks up on you.

No wrestling the lockbox in the dark

Self check-in is a keypad, any time after 4:00 pm. Airbnb guests rate our check-in a 5.0, so it seems to be working. :-)

No bring-your-own firewood

The mesquite is already stocked at the fire pit, and it’s on us. Eight Adirondack chairs are circled up, and the blankets hang by the door for the walk out. Burn what a good night of s’mores and stories takes. We don’t write rules like you’re a toddler, so there’s no log limit taped to the woodpile. We treat you like grown-ups and count on you to do the same for us. Just please don’t host Burning Man out back. Try to light up the whole Mojave and we may send a bill. :-)

No empty investment house

This isn’t a faceless unit owned by a spreadsheet. Some Tuesday Ranch is our family’s retreat and home base. When we’re not out sailing SV Some Tuesday, this is where we come home to, and the family is in and out too. Meghan decorated every room, and we keep it stocked the way we like it, because it’s our home. When the family’s not here, it’s yours.

All in good fun. Most hosts out there are great folks, and we’ve laughed at ourselves plenty. We’ve just read the same stories you have. What we DO offer is dark skies, a lagoon-style pool, a mesquite fire, a house that’s glad to see you and hosts who treat you like a grown-up. Come hang your hat.